Help for Picky Eaters
It can be frustrating for both parents and kids when a child refuses to eat anything you cook. Lots of kids go through a picky eating phase at some time in their lives. You can probably think of a child in your life who can’t stand when his foods touch on the plate, or who refuses to eat anything green, or who insists that the crusts be cut off his sandwich…but tomorrow might insist that the now-cut-off crust be placed back ON the sandwich…
The majority of children pass through this stage easily and grow up to enjoy a wide variety of foods. For some kids, though, picky eating is more than just a phase and can develop into a bigger problem. These children may have become so selective about food that they are left with a very short list of foods they can tolerate, or they may be extremely reluctant to eat more than a few bites at mealtimes.
Food issues can be particularly stressful for both kids and parents. There’s no avoiding mealtimes, so parents of picky eaters have to go through this struggle at least three times a day. For many families, food is love. When a child rejects food, it can be frustrating and even hurtful to the parent who is working so hard to feed the child. Many parents also fear that their child isn’t getting the nutrition she needs to grow. Parents may find themselves resorting to bribing their child, cooking special meals the child is likely to eat, or getting into power struggles with their child over food.
Does this sound like your family? If so, don’t despair! When kids are having these kinds of problems with eating, therapy can be an effective way to break the power struggle cycle and make mealtimes a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
Is picky eating ever a serious problem?
Plenty of picky eaters will grow out of it on their own without additional help. Their picky eating may be a minor annoyance, but it’s not likely to interfere with their relationships or activities. Other children may need some extra help to expand the repertoire of foods they can eat. Here are some indicators that children’s picky eating may be causing bigger problems that need extra assistance:
The child frequently tantrums at mealtimes, or cries when an unfamiliar or disliked food appears at the table.
The child has a very small list of foods they like to eat…and the list may be getting smaller.
Parents find themselves pleading, bargaining, or getting upset at mealtimes when the child won’t eat anything.
Parents are making extra accommodations for the child, like cooking special meals or allowing TV at the dinner table.
What causes picky eating in children?
Figuring out the source of a child’s difficulties with food is an important first step. For some kids, sensory sensitivities are an underlying cause of picky eating. These kids may find certain smells, flavors, tastes or temperatures of foods off-putting or overwhelming, even when the rest of the family has no problem with the meal. If your picky eater only eats foods with a certain texture, avoids very mushy or crunchy foods, or has difficulty with foods touching or mixing, they might fit in this category.
For other children, avoiding eating can be a way of gaining control. Because nutrition is so important for growing children, parents and kids often get locked in a power struggle over food. Sometimes, the more a parent insists that a child eat, the more the child refuses, which worsens the cycle. These children may be feeling a bit “out of control” in other aspects of their lives, and mealtimes may be one of the few places that a child can call the shots.
How can I help my child who won’t eat anything?
Helping children develop healthy eating habits takes time, but it can be done… if you are very patient. Studies on children’s eating habits suggest that kids need to be exposed to a new food up to 15-20 times before they accept it as a regular part of their diet. Continuing to offer a variety of foods, even if a child seems disinterested in them, can be helpful in the long run. Here are a few other tips to try:
Model healthy eating for your child: Children decide how to behave by observing the grownups in their lives. Show your child that you enjoy lots of different foods (including fruits and veggies), and let them see you eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. Seeing that you are enjoying a “gross” food might make a child more curious to try it himself!
Schedule (screen-free) family mealtimes: Whenever possible, try to eat dinner as a family without distraction from phones or TV. Eating together encourages healthy eating habits and helps the family stay connected. It can also take some of the pressure off a picky eater who gets stressed at mealtimes, since the focus won’t be entirely on the child and her eating. While screen time might distract kids from fussing about their food in the short term, it can worsen eating habits over time. Screen-free meals encourage mindful eating and help kids pay attention to their own hunger and fullness cues.
Encourage sensory play: Kids who avoid certain textures in food sometimes benefit from having more opportunities for messy play. Slime, play-doh, orbeez, and other sensory-rich activities can help kids acclimate to the types of textures they might be avoiding, so that they are not so overwhelmed the next time a mushy or sticky food arrives at the dinner table.
More help for kids who won’t eat anything
If you’ve tried these tips at home without much success and you live in the Charlotte, North Carolina area, please reach out to me to learn how I might be able to help! Play therapy can help children reduce sensory sensitivities, work through their feelings, and expand the variety of foods in their diet. Parents can also learn ways to make mealtime a less stressful experience, and encourage lifelong healthy eating habits.
